A big time

The week in Colorado was pretty overwhelming and exhilarating--there was almost no time to stand back for a breather. However, it was so uplifting that when we said good-bye to most people Monday night it left behind a sunken and almost lonely feeling. It was a treat to have my cousins Phuong and Que stay in Aunt Be and Uncle Peter's house with us because it gave us lots of time to catch up. It was also wonderful to see my little cousins and my aunts and uncles. I didn't appreciate this when I was younger, but everyone is generally happy, honest, and seems to have a great perspective on things. I hope it isn't so many years before I get to see them all again.

Here are a few more highlights from the trip...

Aunt Lieu whipped up a gigantic pot of Vietnamese curry for the ~40 of us Friday night. The pot is bigger than she is!

Visiting hours Saturday

We spent the afternoon meeting with Andrew and Adrienne Clay one more time at a mall between Lakewood and Longmont

Saturday night, a few of us crammed into a minivan and went downtown to see the City and County building spruced up with colorful Christmas lights

Uncle Peter couldn't wait to dress the boys up in matching outfits. Child exploitation? I don't think so! It was fun for all!

Sunday, Andrew, Jennifer, Carter and I went to run some errands. We couldn't resist taking advantage of the awesome Mexican food in Denver, so using a GPS, we drove 20min looking for an El Pollo Loco but it took us to El Rico Pollo instead. Good and spicy, it was better than El Pollo Loco! We also stopped by Bronco Stadium. I really like the statues of the horses running up the steps, and there was also a great view of the Denver skyline.

Sunday evening my cousin, Christina, whom I had not seen in nearly seven years, drove in from Colorado Springs (if you couldn't tell, Christina is the blondie, from Dad's side). She joined us for dinner at Uncle Tan's house, but I wish she could have stayed longer!


We also happened to be celebrating Tammie's 12th birthday (we were with Tammie and her family in Vietnam).

Temple on Monday, after the graveside service

Saying goodbye to Phuong and Que

On Tuesday Aunt Be took Mom and me to the largest Asian grocery store I have seen outside Asia. In the freezer department they have a huge stock of vegetarian meat--Mom is holding a bag of veggie bacon and veggie beef balls. Funky.


Ignoring the strip malls, I could look at the mountains all day!

The ceremonies

Grandpa was buried with Buddhist funeral rites. This ritual was very different, longer, and more complex than other funerals I had seen. It began on Friday, in which there was a nearly three hour Buddhist ceremony at the mortuary. All the family members wore long white headbands, which we were supposed to wear for 49 days, and Grandma wore a white robe and hood. Nine monks came in to chant and lead us in prayers. I was extremely confused (not helped by the fact that everything was in Vietnamese) but we started off kneeling on the left side of the room in front of an alter to Buddha. The lead monk chanted and the other monks played small instruments and bells and provided the backup vocals. At certain cues we would periodically bow on our knees. This was about 30min long, then as a mass we moved to the right side of the room and knelt in front of an altar to Grandpa and repeated the process. Eventually Uncle Buu (the oldest son) had to hold a tray with offerings on his head and the monk burned paper money. There were also many other little things that the monk did that I totally did not understand but was really intrigued by.

The next day (Saturday) was visiting hours. Family members and guests were invited to light incense and pray to the altar for Grandpa. If a guest approached the altar a family member was supposed to stand behind the altar and pray back to the guest on behalf of Grandpa. In contrast, if someone prayed to the altar of Buddha no one would have to pray back because I suppose Buddha is powerful enough. Most people stayed all day then went to Temple in the evening. The ceremony at the temple was the weekly Saturday night service open to the community, but since Grandpa passed away that week he was included in the prayers and so the family was invited to join in.

Sunday most people went back to Temple because that was seven days after Grandpa's death. This marked the beginning of the 49 day mourning period (seven weeks). There was also something significant about 100 days and 3 years, but I'm not sure what that is...

Monday was the funeral service--A few people came up to say a few words (mostly in Vietnamese, of course) and then, like Friday, we knelt and prayed in front of Grandpa's altar as the lead monk chanted. We then brought the casket with all the flowers graveside. After a brief reception we caravaned to Temple one last time, though this was actually my first time. The five sons knelt in front of a picture of Grandpa and everyone who would not be able to return in 49 days knelt behind them in one side of the room. As the monk chanted he cut off the headbands of those who would not be able to return and burned those outside. Every Sunday for the next 6 weeks the Temple would continue to pray for Grandpa via that photograph. One photograph was also brought to Grandma's house and Grandpa's spirit supposedly resides with the photo.

The daughters and sons (funny how it looks like they are lined up according to height--it is actually by age). I am not sure if it is a cultural thing, but everyone was taking numerous photos with Grandpa, which I felt a little strange about. There was even a photographer as well as a videographer.

An Bang Temple

A non-traditional Thanksgiving

I started Thanksgiving day last week with a run down Co Rd 44, towards the foothills. The day before I had tried running around a local lake only to find it was bordered by barbed-wire fence (it was actually a well-protected reservoir and not meant for recreatioon) so I ended up circling some neighborhoods instead. The county road passed by another lake and to my surprise it was actually a part of a tiny nature reserve and had a dirt trail around it. During this run I discovered how painfully intense the sun is here, one mile above sea level, and I also noticed several prairie dog colonies, small groups of gigantic black-billed magpies (real magpies, not Australian 'maggie pies'), and a large coyote (It was only about 30m away and did not run off when I passed by, which was a little freaky).

Co Rd 44, with the foothills in the background

One of several prairie dog colonies (this one is outside the state pen)

Thanksgiving was sunny, warm, and full of family. I ran to a Vietnamese bakery and grocery store with Mom and Aunt Phuong and Aunt Be (aka Aunt Amy, Ut, or Thanh--I will need to learn all the different names and titles of my relatives). When we returned, many of my aunts and cousins (most of whom are female) had arrived at the house and were making plates and plates of cha gio (fried spring rolls) and pate chaud (meat-filled puff pastries). Andrew, Jennifer, and Carter came over with Jennifer's sister (Adrienne), brother-in-law (also named Andrew) and father (Bob). Adrienne and Andrew Clay live in Longmont, CO, about an hour away, so it was good to visit with them, especially since I don't know when I'd get to see them again. I imagine being should-to-shoulder with dozens of Vietnamese and trying strange foods was a bit of a culture shock for them! For us Westerners, the Aunts heated up some Costco stuffing, gravy, chicken wings, mozzarella sticks, and two pre-cooked turkeys. My Aunt Lieu, the head chef of a local Vietnamese restaurant, prepared a huge batch of beefsteaks and the second they were cooked and we were about to serve my uncles arrived, just in time, haha. There were about 45 people over so it was quite a gathering!

Picking up an order for 20 loaves of bread (check out those desserts!)

Che!!

Another bakery :o)

Preparing pate chaud and cha gio

Aunt Be and her Pate chaud

Que and Kim and cha gio

Bob, Jennifer's dad, pointed out how special it was to see an entire family in one place working together and getting along so well. It was absolutely something I feel thankful for, that of 21 adults, everyone is on good terms and loves each other very much. Despite typical sibling bickering and tension, at the end of the day everyone goes home happy, as far as I can tell, anyway. The cousins are great, too, of course!

Uncle Peter carving the turkeys

The men at the table, drinking beers, the ladies at the island with the desserts

The Western table

A typical Thanksgiving kiddie table

Us with Grandma

Denver

I have been spending the eight days around Thanksgiving in Denver, CO, along with many, many people I have not seen in years. On Sunday my grandfather on my mother's side passed away and on Tuesday I flew out to Colorado. This was a starkly different Thanksgiving from the one I had been anticipating (going to Seth's house in NY for traditional turkey, pumpkin pie, and Black Friday shopping), but since Seth sadly could not make it to CO I came out by myself and was met by dozens of aunts, uncles and cousins.

Amazingly and wonderfully the entire family came out for this, though it has taken me the past couple days to mentally and emotionally adjust. Not only has been strange being back in Denver (I was born here), but I also have not seen most of my aunts and uncles and cousins since the last time I was here, nine years ago. In fact, I have never met several of my younger cousins and many of the older ones I don't even recognize. And, our family is big--Mom is the oldest (and therefore the whip-cracker) of four sisters and five brothers. Each is married (except Aunt Phuong, who is divorced, though Uncle Vi is still very much a part of the family) but each interestingly has only one, two, or no kids. There are only 16 grandchildren from 10 sets of children.

I am staying with my parents, Andrew, Jennifer, Carter, and Aunt Phuong and her two daughters, Que (the oldest cousin, 29) and 'Little' Phuong (the cousin who visited us in Philly, 24) at Aunt Be and Uncle Peter's large, lovely house with their two kids, Angeline (6) and Austin (2). I has been great staying with them and catching up--there is so much to talk about! It has been also fun to watch Austin and Carter play, especially since Carter is a few weeks older than Austin, though technically 'Uncle' Austin is a generation older.

Wednesday afternoon was the pre-viewing at the funeral home, followed by a Pho dinner in the Vietnamese/Mexican part of town with Andrew and my Uncles Minh, Dien, and Tan, and Aunts Kim and Lieu. It is always a riot eating out with my family--they usually end up getting Andrew to eat all sorts of things, though he is a good sport about trying just about anything. They ordered us the Special Pho, and while I ate the beef flank and not much else of the meat, Andrew ate his tripe, tendon, and jellied pig blood. After dinner I managed to meet up with my high school friend, Danielle, and her boyfriend, Jason, who had been studying/working in Golden for the past few years.

Pho dinner

Andrew eating his pig blood... with a smile

After dinner our uncles treated us to xoi (sweet sticky rice), che (any of a variety of sweet rice and bean with coconut sauce desserts), and these little silver pyramids of steamed rice and meat

Coffee with Danielle and Jason