South to North Country

Yesterday Seth and I packed up the car, strapped Lorenzo into the back seat, and drove the 640 miles back to upstate New York. We made it in good time, only stopping for gas and to gawk over a very elaborately decorated house in Williamsport, PA, which I'm sure made the Little League Hall of Fame jealous.

Williamsport, PA. I want my future home to be this well covered in Christmas lawn ornaments. My favorites are the Santa Ferris wheel and snowman merry-go-round.

The week in Raleigh was super busy and I wish I had more time to stand back and take it a bit slower. There were lots of errands to run and many old friends to visit. It was really nice spending a little time with my nearly three year old nephew, Carter. However, for a few moments I thought he was really attached to me, but Mom had to burst my bubble by pointing out that the likely reason for this fondness was because I was the key to accessing Lorenzo, whom he adored. When I would see Carter in the morning after returning from the gym, he would run up to me and say, "Aunt Michelle (though it sounded more like Aun Shell), can you turn on lights so I see Lorenzo (which sounded like Lenzo), please?". Lorenzo was definitely a hit, especially when he would slip out of my room and we would have to chase him down the hall...

Carter helping Mommie with her makeup

This is where Andrew gets his fashion sense

Tuesday, the day before we left, was particularly busy--we got up early so we could spend the morning in Carrboro, just outside Chapel Hill. We picked up Monica Gray on the way and while Seth met with an old professor of his for brunch at Elmo's, she and I hung out around Weaver St. We had tacos at Armadillo Grill, shopped for some local specialty beers and chocolate and visited Christina for tea at her lab (we both used to work for the Drs. Pfennig). During this time Seth was also able to catch up with a friend, the maintenance man for his old apartment complex.

Gray and I on Weaver St in Carrboro

In the afternoon we drove back to Raleigh. Andrew, Jennifer, and Carter had left that day so it was pretty quiet, but we soon took off to briefly meet up with an old friend of Seth's from the Carolina Ballet (this was my first time meeting her, and her new baby), who has been living in Hawaii for the past 8 years. In the evening we had a fantastic Tex-Mex dinner with my parents (the Last Supper, I suppose) before finally having coffee with some of my closest friends from middle school and high school. It was all so quick, I wish we had more time! However, it was certainly good to see everyone and know that not much has changed the past few years.

Some of my closest friends--Gray, Bo, Meghan and Sandy

A few pictures from Sandy's Christmas party

Gray looking really tall between me and Sandy

Martin and Me

Bo and Nathan

Christmas Time

Soon after returning from Colorado, Brandeis had its final exams and we began to prepare for the Christmas season.

Seth and I went over to Mark and Gina's to help trim their tree. Adah and Kate were the official candy cane testers.

It snowed pretty well one morning

We had the gang over for some spicy Bo Kho, a Vietnamese beef stew. Mark looks awkwardly tall here, but impressed us by not dribbling down his sweater (Bo Kho stains are really bad!).

Last week we grabbed Lorenzo and drove up to NY. The kitchen was in the process of being remodeled so everything was moved into the dining room. Though it was a little crowded, it was convenient being able to reach into the fridge, microwave, or oven without having to stand up :P

Seth's dad and brother working on the kitchen. The nice new cabinets were built and installed by Amish fellows--in case you were wondering, they did wear suspenders but sadly did not arrive in a horse-drawn buggy.

Mid-week we grabbed Lorenzo again and took the big trip down south to NC. It had snowed quite a bit the days before so it was nice having something pretty to look at on the way down. Not surprisingly, there was snow the entire way until we reached Wake County, where Raleigh is situated.

It has been really nice being at home. I hadn't spent Christmas in Raleigh with my family for four years, and in fact it was the first time we had all been together for the holiday (ie. with Jennifer, Carter, and Seth). It was a bit strange, however, to swap snow, wind and single digits for sun, t-shirts and near 60 degree weather. Not quite a white Christmas, but pleasant and nice for evening walks.

Our tree on Christmas morning

Carter diving into his 75 piece Thomas the Train set from Santa. It was pure kiddie bliss--for him, there was no need for further presents.

A really nice Christmas!

A big time

The week in Colorado was pretty overwhelming and exhilarating--there was almost no time to stand back for a breather. However, it was so uplifting that when we said good-bye to most people Monday night it left behind a sunken and almost lonely feeling. It was a treat to have my cousins Phuong and Que stay in Aunt Be and Uncle Peter's house with us because it gave us lots of time to catch up. It was also wonderful to see my little cousins and my aunts and uncles. I didn't appreciate this when I was younger, but everyone is generally happy, honest, and seems to have a great perspective on things. I hope it isn't so many years before I get to see them all again.

Here are a few more highlights from the trip...

Aunt Lieu whipped up a gigantic pot of Vietnamese curry for the ~40 of us Friday night. The pot is bigger than she is!

Visiting hours Saturday

We spent the afternoon meeting with Andrew and Adrienne Clay one more time at a mall between Lakewood and Longmont

Saturday night, a few of us crammed into a minivan and went downtown to see the City and County building spruced up with colorful Christmas lights

Uncle Peter couldn't wait to dress the boys up in matching outfits. Child exploitation? I don't think so! It was fun for all!

Sunday, Andrew, Jennifer, Carter and I went to run some errands. We couldn't resist taking advantage of the awesome Mexican food in Denver, so using a GPS, we drove 20min looking for an El Pollo Loco but it took us to El Rico Pollo instead. Good and spicy, it was better than El Pollo Loco! We also stopped by Bronco Stadium. I really like the statues of the horses running up the steps, and there was also a great view of the Denver skyline.

Sunday evening my cousin, Christina, whom I had not seen in nearly seven years, drove in from Colorado Springs (if you couldn't tell, Christina is the blondie, from Dad's side). She joined us for dinner at Uncle Tan's house, but I wish she could have stayed longer!


We also happened to be celebrating Tammie's 12th birthday (we were with Tammie and her family in Vietnam).

Temple on Monday, after the graveside service

Saying goodbye to Phuong and Que

On Tuesday Aunt Be took Mom and me to the largest Asian grocery store I have seen outside Asia. In the freezer department they have a huge stock of vegetarian meat--Mom is holding a bag of veggie bacon and veggie beef balls. Funky.


Ignoring the strip malls, I could look at the mountains all day!

The ceremonies

Grandpa was buried with Buddhist funeral rites. This ritual was very different, longer, and more complex than other funerals I had seen. It began on Friday, in which there was a nearly three hour Buddhist ceremony at the mortuary. All the family members wore long white headbands, which we were supposed to wear for 49 days, and Grandma wore a white robe and hood. Nine monks came in to chant and lead us in prayers. I was extremely confused (not helped by the fact that everything was in Vietnamese) but we started off kneeling on the left side of the room in front of an alter to Buddha. The lead monk chanted and the other monks played small instruments and bells and provided the backup vocals. At certain cues we would periodically bow on our knees. This was about 30min long, then as a mass we moved to the right side of the room and knelt in front of an altar to Grandpa and repeated the process. Eventually Uncle Buu (the oldest son) had to hold a tray with offerings on his head and the monk burned paper money. There were also many other little things that the monk did that I totally did not understand but was really intrigued by.

The next day (Saturday) was visiting hours. Family members and guests were invited to light incense and pray to the altar for Grandpa. If a guest approached the altar a family member was supposed to stand behind the altar and pray back to the guest on behalf of Grandpa. In contrast, if someone prayed to the altar of Buddha no one would have to pray back because I suppose Buddha is powerful enough. Most people stayed all day then went to Temple in the evening. The ceremony at the temple was the weekly Saturday night service open to the community, but since Grandpa passed away that week he was included in the prayers and so the family was invited to join in.

Sunday most people went back to Temple because that was seven days after Grandpa's death. This marked the beginning of the 49 day mourning period (seven weeks). There was also something significant about 100 days and 3 years, but I'm not sure what that is...

Monday was the funeral service--A few people came up to say a few words (mostly in Vietnamese, of course) and then, like Friday, we knelt and prayed in front of Grandpa's altar as the lead monk chanted. We then brought the casket with all the flowers graveside. After a brief reception we caravaned to Temple one last time, though this was actually my first time. The five sons knelt in front of a picture of Grandpa and everyone who would not be able to return in 49 days knelt behind them in one side of the room. As the monk chanted he cut off the headbands of those who would not be able to return and burned those outside. Every Sunday for the next 6 weeks the Temple would continue to pray for Grandpa via that photograph. One photograph was also brought to Grandma's house and Grandpa's spirit supposedly resides with the photo.

The daughters and sons (funny how it looks like they are lined up according to height--it is actually by age). I am not sure if it is a cultural thing, but everyone was taking numerous photos with Grandpa, which I felt a little strange about. There was even a photographer as well as a videographer.

An Bang Temple

A non-traditional Thanksgiving

I started Thanksgiving day last week with a run down Co Rd 44, towards the foothills. The day before I had tried running around a local lake only to find it was bordered by barbed-wire fence (it was actually a well-protected reservoir and not meant for recreatioon) so I ended up circling some neighborhoods instead. The county road passed by another lake and to my surprise it was actually a part of a tiny nature reserve and had a dirt trail around it. During this run I discovered how painfully intense the sun is here, one mile above sea level, and I also noticed several prairie dog colonies, small groups of gigantic black-billed magpies (real magpies, not Australian 'maggie pies'), and a large coyote (It was only about 30m away and did not run off when I passed by, which was a little freaky).

Co Rd 44, with the foothills in the background

One of several prairie dog colonies (this one is outside the state pen)

Thanksgiving was sunny, warm, and full of family. I ran to a Vietnamese bakery and grocery store with Mom and Aunt Phuong and Aunt Be (aka Aunt Amy, Ut, or Thanh--I will need to learn all the different names and titles of my relatives). When we returned, many of my aunts and cousins (most of whom are female) had arrived at the house and were making plates and plates of cha gio (fried spring rolls) and pate chaud (meat-filled puff pastries). Andrew, Jennifer, and Carter came over with Jennifer's sister (Adrienne), brother-in-law (also named Andrew) and father (Bob). Adrienne and Andrew Clay live in Longmont, CO, about an hour away, so it was good to visit with them, especially since I don't know when I'd get to see them again. I imagine being should-to-shoulder with dozens of Vietnamese and trying strange foods was a bit of a culture shock for them! For us Westerners, the Aunts heated up some Costco stuffing, gravy, chicken wings, mozzarella sticks, and two pre-cooked turkeys. My Aunt Lieu, the head chef of a local Vietnamese restaurant, prepared a huge batch of beefsteaks and the second they were cooked and we were about to serve my uncles arrived, just in time, haha. There were about 45 people over so it was quite a gathering!

Picking up an order for 20 loaves of bread (check out those desserts!)

Che!!

Another bakery :o)

Preparing pate chaud and cha gio

Aunt Be and her Pate chaud

Que and Kim and cha gio

Bob, Jennifer's dad, pointed out how special it was to see an entire family in one place working together and getting along so well. It was absolutely something I feel thankful for, that of 21 adults, everyone is on good terms and loves each other very much. Despite typical sibling bickering and tension, at the end of the day everyone goes home happy, as far as I can tell, anyway. The cousins are great, too, of course!

Uncle Peter carving the turkeys

The men at the table, drinking beers, the ladies at the island with the desserts

The Western table

A typical Thanksgiving kiddie table

Us with Grandma